Twenty-Eight Years

Twenty-eight years ago today my mother passed away. She was only 57 years old; I was 26 years old. We've been apart more years than we were together. I remember thinking at the time that she'd lived a good life. A reference to life that I now would use for someone passing away at the age of 80-something or even 90-something. Of course, 28 years later has also seen me turn 54 years old. Now there's the realization that her good life was far too short.

There are so many things I have grown to regret in the 28 years that have passed. I was a "Daddy's girl." She and I never really had much of a relationship; we never got past the mother-daughter stage in our relationship. During the 26 years we were together we were often at odds with one another. It was not until she became ill that we began to work on a different relationship - the one of a mother and daughter becoming friends.

There are few things Mama and I have in common - even appearance. I am more a product of my father's side of the family. My temperament is more like my Dad's; my likes/dislikes are more like my Dad's; I resemble my Dad more than I resemble my Mom.

My mother was not an outspoken person; I have absolutely no problem speaking my mind.

My mother had the ability to see the grey in a situation; for me a situation is either black or white.

My mother was able to adapt her opinion of people as she got to know them; my opinion is usually formed within the first 5 minutes of meeting you, and it doesn't usually change.

My mother was a devoutly religious person; I am spiritual.

My mother had a simmering temperament - it took a lot to rile her; I am the complete opposite - I don't simmer, I boil.

The picture of my Mom is one of my absolute favorites. It was taken in 1953 when she was 28 years old.

That's 2 years older than I was when she died.

It was 1 year before she married my Dad.

It was 3 years before I was born.

I wish she'd been able to know her grandson.

I wish we'd had more time together to develop that mother-daughter friendship.